


Second Helping of Sanji

by stoatwrote



Category: One Piece
Genre: 19yo/21yo, It's gonna get spicy, M/M, Minor Franky/Nico Robin, Mystery, Post-Enies Lobby Arc, Time Travel, it's that trope you know the one, more tags to come
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-27 15:55:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,752
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30125244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stoatwrote/pseuds/stoatwrote
Summary: Sanji watched as Blackleg leaned down and whispered something in Zoro’s ear. Zoro grinned like he did before a fight.Enough. Enough of this. Zoro was going to make a fucking fool of himself, convinced that he liked men just because Blackleg gave him a little attention. Zoro didn’t like men, Zoro was one of the manliest men Sanji knew, Zoro would likely ridicule Sanji for liking men, or if he didn’t, he’d ignore him.Right?Because if not, what was the whole fucking point? What had Sanji been doing all this time?When Blackleg kissed Zoro, Sanji felt like he was going to fucking vomit.When they disappeared into an alley out of his sight, he did.-----On a mysterious island out of the way of the Strawhat's path, Sanji accidentally poofs an older self into his universe. Older Sanji (Blackleg, as they call him), knows how to cook, loves the ladies, and can fight better than Sanji himself. The only problem is that this older Sanji is dating his own Zoro, and seems intent on doing the same with Sanji's Zoro.Except, Zoro isn't his, not that way.Zoro's not even interested in men.Right?
Relationships: Roronoa Zoro/Vinsmoke Sanji
Comments: 15
Kudos: 81





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First off, thank you to the cool and sexy [sydneyxface](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sydneyxface/pseuds/sydneyxface) for betaing this and cheering me on.
> 
> This fic has almost literally possessed me I'm pretty sure. It began as a fun conversation about how sensitive (or not) Zoro is during sex and then it came out of my computer and demanded I write. Even now my body is held hostage. Like no joke I've been having a 4 day long anxiety attack as of the time of writing this, and I feel like this fic is at fault.
> 
> This was intended to be a few feelings and a lot of porn, but as tends to happen with these things, some plot snuck in there on the way.
> 
> I hope you'll stick with me on this ride. As always, I promise to finish it. I just needed to post something before I forgot how to breathe.

It started with Sanji and a cave.

But before all that, it started with an island.

Luffy noticed it first, off the starboard bow. It caught his interest despite-or perhaps, especially because-it wasn’t where the log pose was pointing. After the initial protests from his navigator and sniper, on account of it looking like a giant porcupine that might rise out of the ocean and eat them if they got too close, the crew acquiesced. The island was essentially dome shaped, but covered in varying sizes of conical rock formations jutting straight upward.

Upon arrival, they discovered a message, stained onto rock with ink or berries, in plain writing, though faded. “GET OUT BEFOR[- ----] L[-- --]SE [----] IN 48 HOURS”

“Oh my, what if the island comes alive every two days and eats anything living on it.” Robin said.

“Robin!! Don’t say something like that!” Usopp yelled, clutching Chopper in his arms, Chopper clutching right back.

“That’s right, obviously it’s about the log pose. Right?” Nami said, shaking and holding onto Usopp and Chopper both.

“Right! Right!” Chopper nodded.

“Whatever, as long as we leave before two days we’ll be fine!” Luffy declared. “Besides, if it does come alive I’ll beat its ass! And then we can eat it! Sanji! Cook the island!”

Sanji did not cook the island. Instead he kicked Luffy in the head. “Shut up shitty rubber, can’t you see it’s made of rocks.”

“Your head is made of rocks.” Zoro muttered.

“What was that?!”

“Rock head, full of rocks.”

“Yow! You need to work on your zingers, Zoro-bro!” Franky said, shaking his hand like he had been burned. Sanji was already trying to take Zoro’s head off with a kick.

“Ugh, Franky, don’t bother paying attention to them. You’ll get used to it. Okay! Everyone listen up!” Nami said.

“Yeeees Nami-swannn! Tell us your brilliant plan!”

“We’re going to explore this island to stock up on food. If you want to have an adventure, keep it under 40 hours. We leave at 45, no questions asked!”

“Yahoo!” Luffy yelled and then ran off up the first incline towards a tight cluster of rocks.

“And don’t-!” Nami called after him, but he’d already stretched his arms out to one of the formations to slingshot himself further. “Ugh, nevermind. If one breaks and falls on him he can deal with it himself.”

With that, everyone followed Luffy up. The path was mostly an incline, with the occasional stair-like stone here and there.

“This path looks artificial. See the mark of stone-cutting tools here?” Robin pointed out as they went.

“Oh! Maybe there’s someone who can tell us where to find herbs! I could use some more anti-inflammatories.” Chopper said.

When they reached the top of the path, they entered what could be a community gathering place. The stone points rising around the level area had modern doors and windows built into what Robin identified as some artificial and some naturally occurring openings. There were benches, cultivated plant areas, and even a fountain. But the fountain was empty except some rain water, the plants were overgrown or dead, and the dwellings were all completely empty. 

“Anybody hoooommeee?? Excuse the intrusion! Is anyone hereeee?” Luffy yelled as he ran around. He reached for a door to open-

“Luffy!” Robin said, much more stern than was expected. Luffy stopped in his tracks, looked back at her. Robin had walked over to one of the dwellings and was inspecting it. “I think these are very very old. Please treat them with care.”

“Oh, sorry Robin!” Luffy laughed.

“I’m sorry, Captain-san. It’s just not often you come across such well preserved history out in the open like this. And the modern techniques are quite confusing.”

“It’s okay! I’m glad you told me! Besides, I like when you use my name.”

Robin looked almost bashful for a moment, but Luffy wasn’t paying attention any more. 

Nami let her shoulders fall, the moment of tension passed. The circumstances of Usopp leaving were still fresh in their minds. Nami looked over to Zoro to gauge his response. Did he think Robin had gone too far? She could tell Usopp was looking too. But Zoro looked his usual neutral self, more concerned with trying to kick Sanji in the shin. That, or play footsie with him. She let out a sigh and squeezed Usopp’s shoulder.

“Come on, I’ll help you find some new ammo or something.” Nami said to Usopp. She wasn’t sure what they could find here but it was as good an excuse as any to explore together.

“Okay, yeah, let’s do that.” Usopp said.

They wandered off, heading up on the other side of the community circle. There were more gatherings of rocks, heading towards a generalized peak at the center of the mountain. Nami was curious if it had any effect on the weather. They hadn’t hit any rain on their way here, but mountains did things to precipitation and wind. There was a strong breeze blowing over the island, but only by human standards. Navigating it had been easy as taking money from a baby.

“Nami-san! I’ll come with you!” Sanji called, catching up with her and Usopp. “If we can’t find anything to shoot I bet we can find something to eat,” he said, giving Usopp a friendly nudge with his elbow. Usopp chuckled. It wasn’t even a joke on Sanji’s part, but Nami could tell he’d been putting effort in to make sure Usopp felt like part of the crew still.

Usopp’s leaving was different than Nami’s, or now Robin’s. She couldn’t quite empathize with Usopp’s exact motivations. She left because she had terrible obligations, a village to protect. Usopp left because- well, he hadn’t said why, other than Merry. But they knew each other well enough she could tell it wasn’t just that. He struggled with feeling like he was part of them. He put pressure on himself to achieve the same as their three monsters in battle and feared rejection and abandonment if he couldn’t reach those frankly inhuman standards.

She wished Usopp could better recognize what he contributed to the crew. Brute force wasn’t his strength: it was reach, and cunning, and improvising. She hoped Enies Lobby showed him some of that. They wouldn’t have been able to save Robin without him. She wouldn’t be able to develop her own weather-based attacks without his initial and continued invention and improvement on her clima-tact. Maybe she’d pay him back for the initial cost of materials. Ah, but that was so long ago, surely he’d forgotten that she might, perhaps, maybe, owe him some cash.

The three of them wandered the island. Nami made some cursory map sketches in her notebook, particularly to keep track of where Sanji found edible plants to gather in earnest later. When they reached the peak she stayed there, tearing out her drawing to give to the boys for their own use. It was an incredible view. The stone spikes of the island either coalesced into one piece or didn’t form here at the top, giving her a clear view of the whole island. Perfect for mapping it. The ground was almost level, too. Perhaps the island formed from underwater vents?

She spent the couple of hours of daylight they had left filling out more initial sketches. She could only get so much done without her tools but the trek down and back up would take too long to justify it. When she finished what she could, she took the time to really admire the view, watched the clouds for how the peak affected wind currents, and watched her crew below.

Robin had moved to what looked like another collection of rock formations used for residence, or, Nami assumed, trade. Most of the island looked like it was inhabited at one point, and for a population that big, she couldn’t imagine them surviving on their own. It was large, for sure, and seemed to have plenty of tropical beach life, but the majority of it was covered in rock, with patchy, hard vegetation growing in between. In fact, there was no forest, very few trees or even bamboo for building boats. She wondered how they had survived. But maybe that was why they weren’t here anymore? Maybe they left a long time ago or died out. Robin would have answers.

Nami caught sight of Franky’s shocking blue hair moving across the deck of the Sunny. Probably tweaking something. That brown spot on the grass might be Chopper. Luffy hadn’t been seen since he ran off on his own again, but there were no local governments to overthrow and he’d find his way home eventually. After all, the island was a closed loop. And if that warning at the shore was anything to worry about, Luffy would probably find the trouble it referred to as well.

They could spend another day here, so Luffy had time to stay lost if he wanted to. Tomorrow she’d carry her cartography tools up here. Maybe she could get Zoro to do it in exchange for decreasing his debt. She knew Sanji would but she didn’t want to distract him from stocking up on food.

Speaking of Zoro, he emerged from behind a copse of rocks in the distance. She could just make out that he was yelling (probably at Sanji) while carrying a large basket of fresh food on his back. She held her thumb and forefinger up, pretending to squish him, and laughed to herself. Tiny green ant man. A leg kicked out at Zoro and then Sanji and Usopp appeared from the same rock before all three of them disappeared from her view behind another set of rocks. She should probably head back to the ship herself. The sun wasn’t quite setting yet but she didn’t want to be picking her way down unfamiliar steps and paths in no light in terrain as hard and unforgiving as this.

At dinner Robin shared her findings with everyone (Luffy found his way home for food, of course). She and Franky had found a mine that went under the island, possibly even below sea level. They took sample scrapes from the walls a ways down and Franky was running tests on them.

“I don’t know what they were mining, exactly, but it’s quite odd that there is very little evidence of metal work on the island itself. If they were mining for ore, where was all of it going?” Robin said.

“Maybe into building ships? There’s not really any viable amount of lumber here.” Nami supposed.

Robin hummed in acknowledgement. “There are no docks, though. We were lucky to find a land shelf to anchor along. Did you see any docks while you were at the peak, Navigator-san?”

Nami didn’t startle at Robin’s knowledge of her whereabouts for the day, not anymore. At this point, everyone was used to her knowing more than one would expect. And Robin finally felt comfortable revealing it plainly instead of with cryptic references. “No, not that I saw.”

“And that begs the question, how did they make their mining equipment in the first place? There was very little equipment left behind. And typically you need easily manipulated materials, like wood, to build more complex tools. What about smelting? How did they start fires?” Robin tapped her chin, a small smile spreading just for a moment, “Many questions indeed. Ah, but it’s a shame we are on such a limited timeline. I’m sure many of them will go unanswered.”

Nami wasn’t quite as regretful as Robin about that, though she was curious. She was thankful their timeline didn’t affect her own goals quite so much. She turned back to her food, just in time to pin Luffy’s wandering hand with her fork.

The next day was perfect weather, clear, no fog, and very little wind. Everyone set out with backpacks of lunch and water. It was warm, but not so much that Nami had to worry that sweat would smudge her ink. The clouds were moving lazily across the sky, and Nami got to work at the peak of the island. It was Sanji who helped her with her equipment in the end, since Zoro elected to stay on the ship as watch while everyone else wandered. Sanji said he was already headed her way, wanting to get to the beach on the other side of the island to look for clams and other shellfish. Usopp had joined them again. He seemed more comfortable around Sanji than he had before he tried to leave. Nami wondered if something had happened between them to make that change.

As she mused and mapped, the sun trekked its path across the sky. She heard footsteps approaching on the rocky path behind her. Sanji and Usopp must have finished hunting clams. She looked down from her lense, made one last mark on her parchment, and then turned to greet them as they passed by.

Usopp appeared first, eyes down, and looked...freaked out? Oh shit. But he wasn’t running. Damn was someone pointing a gun to his back? His hands weren’t up though. Before she could decide what to do, Sanji appeared behind him. He looked a little less freaked out but not injured, and she knew he wouldn’t give up without a fight. And then Sanji appeared behind Sanji.

Wait.

_ What? _

Nami rubbed her eyes, sure she was seeing some atmospheric illusion created by the high altitude. 

But when she opened them, there stood a second Sanji. And he wasn’t a mirror image or a double, either. He was taller, he had an actual goatee rather than scruff, and his hair was parted to the other side. That eyebrow was the same though. Ridiculous.

“Um???” she said.

“Nami, there you are!” Usopp said, noticing her. “You won’t believe what happened!”

“Nami-san I can hardly believe it myself.” Sanji-well, familiar Sanji said.

“Oh! Nami-swaaan! What a wonder to see you! As I remembered, short hair looks just as good on you!” That was the second Sanji as he twirled towards her.

She grabbed her clima-tact on instinct, ready to defend herself from this clear imposter. Had Bon Clay died and his devil fruit already regrown? Was  _ this _ Bon Clay? But he looked different than Sanji did when they first met!

Before he could get anywhere near her though, Sanji,  _ their _ Sanji ran in front of him and stopped him in his tracks.

“Oi, bastard, watch where you’re going! Obviously this is freaking our wonderful navigator out!”

“Hey, don’t talk to me like that! I’m your senior.” Weird, alter Sanji snarled. But then his features smoothed out. “Hm, you do have a point though. I’m sorry Nami-san. I didn’t mean to startle you. I’m not quite sure what’s going on myself.”

_ “What the hell?!” _


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happened while Nami was busy with her cartography.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Damnb I really hope y'all know what geoducks are!

_ Many minutes earlier… _

Spades in hand and buckets nearby, Sanji and Usopp were watching for the telltale spurt of water that signaled their prey was nearby. The beach didn’t seem to suit regular clams, but there were  _ plenty _ of geoducks. And as long as their appearance was kept between him and Usopp, Sanji was sure he wouldn’t have any trouble feeding them to the crew. Well, Luffy and the shitty marimo wouldn’t mind either way. Zoro might even enjoy it as sashimi with sake.

After a few successes, the first couple of which included Usopp falling on his ass laughing, Sanji was confident Usopp had gotten the hang of catching them. There was a trick to knowing which direction they went once they spit water as a distraction. Zeff had taught Sanji when they were docked for repairs on a temperate island once. He practically gorged himself on geoducks while they stayed there. He got to eat as many as he could catch and he gods be damned did he get good at catching them.

Sure that Usopp had things handled, Sanji went to wander the beach, looking for anything else worth eating. There was some kelp and seaweed that had washed up. In contrast to the sparse vegetation of this island, the beach and nearby waters seemed to be teeming with life. The waters were warmer too. Odd, then, that they would find geoducks since they tended to prefer colder climates. Maybe they were some kind of Grand Line variant? Well, their coloration was different, more purplish than tan. What should he name them, then?

“Pfffbbt-!” he couldn’t help it, every name he could think of cracked him up. Blacklegella Schlongus? Sanjus Dickian? Perhaps closer to the original species. Panopea Grandus? Blacklegea Generosa?

Oh gods but what if this was all he left of himself and Zeff found out. Agh that would be hell.

…

Mydickis Asbigasmyleg? 

“AHAHAHAHA!” 

Sanji wiped tears from the corners of his eyes. Oh man he should tell Zoro about these. He was sure the guy had some great dick jokes stored up, what with being someone who used  _ three swords _ . With one in his mouth no less.

Ah, but. Better to avoid that kind of topic with Zoro altogether.

Sanji scrubbed at his face. He didn’t want Zoro assuming anything about him. He didn’t want to know what would happen, if the intensely macho swordsman found out Sanji liked men too. Or that Sanji even knew anything about men liking men.

He didn’t like holding back from Zoro. He liked getting to share funny shit like this with him. Shit and he hadn’t even thought about what it would look like giving Zoro geoduck as sashimi. What,  _ ‘here’s a dick on a plate for you Marimo, don’t read into it or anything?’ _

Well, the guy was so oblivious he wouldn’t see anything odd with it anyway. But still, Sanji had that inkling of fear in the back of his head when anything got too close. Luffy and Usopp, they were like kids. They wouldn’t read anything into it, wouldn’t expect anything from a brief casual touch. But Zoro, Sanji was pretty sure he had experience. He knew what to look for, to see a person’s interest. Innuendo, lingering glances, trailing fingers. Sanji had to avoid all of it. He wanted an equal in Zoro, he didn’t want to be pitied or despised or whatever might happen.

_ Sigh. _

He came up on a cave. The hill the cave led under had a wide path going up, made of cobblestones. It had two parallel grooves cut about arm-length apart, running down the middle. For cart wheels, maybe? Sanji had seen something similar on other islands with paved roads and lots of foot traffic. He should show their lovely archeologist later!

Curious if he could find anything edible growing inside it, Sanji entered the cave. Gorgeous, multicolored giant thistle, covered the walls. It looked like a sand dune inverted. Thistle was hardy, but with puffy blooms this large, it would make a beautiful centerpiece bouquet. Providing sustenance  _ and _ beautiful flowers? The ladies would fall in love with him all over again!

Sanji reached forward, intent on picking. The moment he touched the first flower, it shrunk back into itself, like an anemone. And then all the other ones did, soft  _ pop, pop, pops _ down into the dark. Probably not good. He took a step back.

_ POOF _

All at once pollen shot out of flower bases, filling the air of the cave with multicolored particulates. Sanji sneezed violently, trying to find his way back to the entrance. Before he could, an incredible gust of wind shot out from the depths of the cave, clearing the air and his vision.

To reveal himself. 

Sanji stared.

Sanji stared back.

Sanji slowly lifted his leg

Sanji did not lift his in return.

Okay so not a reflection.

“Are you a lure at the end of a giant monster trying to eat me?”

“No, are you?”

“Fuck no.”

“Great.” Other Sanji reached in his pocket and lit a cigarette.

He had a bit of a deeper voice, more husk. In fact, as Sanji looked at him more, he wasn’t an exact copy anyway. They were wearing the same suit, but this one was revealing his other eye with his hair, and he looked more built. More relaxed, too, despite the situation. Like he knew he could handle what came at him.

Sanji sneezed again. Ugh, his snot was yellow and blue.

“What are you then?”

“I’m Blackleg Sanji, lover of all the ladies in the world, human guy who can kick your shitty ass.”

“That’s who I am.”

“Well there can’t be two of us so one of us is fake.”

“I-” Was that right? Could there only be one? “Did I eat a devil fruit without realizing?”

“Jump in the ocean and find out.”

“Like you’d save me if I drowned.”

“Maybe I would, maybe I wouldn’t.”

There was something uniquely frustrating about dealing with a guy who acted just like Sanji. Well, maybe he  _ was _ Sanji. Knowing himself, this probably wouldn’t go anywhere.

“Fine, well stay here and I’ll go find help.”

“Like hell I’ll follow your directions, I’m coming with you.” Other Sanji said. Sanji smirked, ruse successful. He was certainly a contrary bastard, extra facial hair or not.

Sanji did dip his feet in the ocean just to see if it did anything, but he felt fine, so that probably ruled out devil fruit. Besides, he was pretty sure it was the cave or those flowers that did...whatever this was.

They reached Usopp who promptly freaked out and then, seeing that Other Sanji was fine, acted like it wasn’t a big deal after all. When they found Nami, it was still weird, but the weirdest thing about any of it was how quickly it settled in his mind. From such a high place of shock to even ground with no ‘click’ moment of okayness. It felt easier to just kind of roll with it. They were on the Grand Line, after all.

Once Nami settled herself some, her, Usopp, and Sanji learned that this Sanji was 23 years old, as opposed to Sanji’s 19 years. He had implied so earlier, with his comment about being Sanj’s senior, but now it was confirmed. Sanji supposed he would be better able to recognize a younger version of himself rather than an older one. Other, older Sanji was still part of the Straw Hats, but he was loath to share much more information than that. He had been on an island when suddenly he appeared in the cave with Sanji. He could confirm that his dream was to find the All Blue, but Sanji felt like he knew more about that then he was letting on. Other Sanji still smoked the same brand of cigarettes. He even had the same shitty lighter Patty gave Sanji when he was 18.

Without having to call for them, Robin, Franky, Chopper, and Luffy arrived at the peak. Robin must have gathered them. Chopper gave other Sanji a brief check over and determined he was either an incredibly powerful illusion or a real flesh and blood human being. Luffy immediately jumped all over ‘New Sanji.’

“Whoa! Sanji-bro! Do your eyebrows both go the same way?” Franky asked.

Both Sanjis grimaced, then held up their fringes to show their eyebrows. Sure enough they both matched, eyebrows and faces. Luffy and Usopp doubled over laughing. “They’re the same! The same!”

“Cook-san, will you take me to the cave where this happened?” Robin asked.

“Of course, Robin-chan! You can call  _ me _ ‘Sanji’ if you want though, just to distinguish~!” Other Sanji replied.

“She was talking to me, you bastard.” Sanji said. How dare he try to get that privilege from Robin?

“Hm, perhaps I should. Very well. Cook-san and Sanji-san, please show me to the cave.”

“Robin-chan! How could you! Do you know how long I’ve yearned to hear my voice come from your mouth, and now it’s directed at this imposter?” Sanji said.

“Oi, I’m not an imposter, I’m real, shitty cook!”

“I-you-what? Don’t call  _ yourself _ a shitty cook!”

“Whatever. Yes Robin-chan, I will humbly show you to the cave I appeared in.” Other Sanji said.

Sanji blinked. That was odd. He had been ready for a fight, especially after hearing that phrase directed at him. It was like an activation code, usually. But this wasn’t Zoro he was fighting, it was himself. And Other Sanji seemed fine letting a fight go.  _ Weird. _

“Sanji! Sanji! What should we call you? I’m not calling you -san.” Luffy said. “Oh, I know, what about Yonji?”

_ “Absolutely not!” _ both Sanjis turned to Luffy, glaring.

“You can call me Sanji-senpai, shitty rubber.” Other Sanji said.

Luffy made a face of disgust. Usopp laughed.

“How about Sanji and Blackleg?” Usopp offered.

They both considered.

“It’s a bit awkward, but I’m willing to live with it for a while.” Other Sanji--Blackleg said. He gave Sanji a look, and Sanji realized the other last name alternative would have been hell. They both gave Usopp a thankful pat on the back, even though he didn’t know what bullet he was avoiding with his suggestion. Sanji was grateful anyway. 

His pat on Usopp’s back was cursory, brief, but Blackleg’s was not. He didn’t just pat, he squeezed Usopp’s shoulder too, in his thanks, and it threw Sanji for a loop. Wasn’t he worried? That people would start assuming things, if he let himself keep contact with other men? Blackleg’s hand dropped away just as easily as it had stayed. Sanji didn’t think it had meant anything, just habit showing itself. He hadn’t thrown Luffy off either, just let him detach on his own time. He didn’t wince at Franky’s casual shoulder brush. What a dangerous habit to keep. 

What had happened, for this version of him to be okay with this? Maybe, despite their similarities, it wasn’t as simple as a four-year gap? Maybe there was a difference in their upbringing?

As he was distracted by these thoughts, the group made their way to the cave. The flowers were still hidden in their stalks. Sanji explained what had happened, step by step, making sure to take extra care to emphasize his intent to bring the flowers to the wonderful ladies of their crew. He also pointed out the path beside the cave to Robin, who noted it looked quite similar to those in the mines.

Luffy poked at the stalks. “Come on, I want another me, too!”

“Wait, Luffy, don’t!” Blackleg tried to stop him, but was too late. Luffy’s hand jostled one of the plants.

But nothing happened. There was a collective sigh of relief.

“Man, I bet we could come up with some great moves. Two rubber guys is better than one, you know!”

“I’m sure. But don’t rush things. Four years is a long time, a lot of things can happen.” Blackleg said, ruffling Luffy’s hair easily. Sanji caught the grimace on his face.

Usopp must have caught it too because he said. “Wait, does something happen? Does Luffy  _ die??” _

“What? No! No, Luffy doesn't die! He’s fine, he’s alive where I was. When I was? He’s fine.”

“Yeah, Usopp, I can’t die so easily. Don’t worry.” Luffy slung his arm around Usopp’s shoulders, maybe a little tighter than usual. Post-Enies Lobby, Sanji had noticed Luffy had become a little more clingy, especially around Robin and Usopp. He could understand. And neither of them seemed to mind.

Nami came back from further in the cave. “Robin, look. I found a log pose.”

“Wonderful find, Navigator-san. Does it by chance point directly out of the cave?”

“It does, how’d you know?”

“Look here. There’s engraved and molded writing. Evidence of smelted ore. This part indicates another island, perhaps. It’s a language I don’t fully know, but there are diagrams, including a compass rose pointing out of the direction of the cave.”

They all leaned in to get a better look. Sure enough, behind some of the vines of the thistle, there were carved letters and drawings, filled with metal. It meant that even as the rock broke away or wore down, the writing was still clear and legible.

“This writing was meant to stand the test of time.” Blackleg said.

“Very good, Sanji-san.”

“Robin-chan, please call him Blackleg. It’s far too much for my heart to hear my name fall from your lips and not have you calling for me!” Sanji said.

Robin chuckled. “Very well Cook-san. Astute observation Blackleg-san.”

Sanji got a knee to the head from his counterpart. “Bastard, I can’t believe you’d take that away from us!”

“Not us, you.” Sanji stuck his tongue out at Blackleg. Blackleg stuck his tongue out right back, and grinned. How odd to be on the receiving end of his own attitude, but with no malice behind it. Was this similar to having actual, caring siblings?

“Oh, I recognize this.” Franky said. “Σn =/ /= Σn. Wait, that’s not an equation for anything.” He scratched his head. “The middle would indicate a long distance, but sum n long distance sum n? That’s nothing.”

And with that, the cave writing had officially gone over Sanji’s head. He had food to harvest, mouths to feed.

“And I think that’s my cue to leave.” Sanji said. “Usopp, wanna come help finish hunting for our special clam friends?”

“Sure!” Usopp said with a snort.

“Cook-san, I’m surprised you’re so comfortable leaving your other self here. What if he disappears?”

“Yeah, actually, why are we all so okay with this?” Nami asked.

Usopp shrugged. “Grand Line?”

Luffy pointed at Franky. “Cyborg.”

Franky pointed at Chopper. “Reindeer.”

“We’re me.” Sanji and Blackleg pointed at each other.

“I-Well. Okay, yeah, Grand Line works. I’m not even that bothered myself anymore. Just checking.”

“Incredible foresight by you, Nami-swan! Making sure we aren’t all under some sort of spell! The only spell I’m under is my love for you~!” Sanji said, twirling around her. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. Go finish your clam hunt. I’m going to go back to do my mapping. Robin, Franky, if you find anything, let us know. Since we’re not in any danger this is probably fine.”

“If he turns on us I’ll kick his ass!” Luffy called after her as she left.

“I bet I could take you, rubber boy.” Blackleg said.

“No way!”

“Uh-huh.” Blackleg smirked.

“Wanna try it?” Luffy squared up, serious.

“Nah, nah, I don’t want to fight you Luffy.” Blackleg ruffled his hair again. Luffy swatted his hand away, still serious, but when it was clear Blackleg truly didn’t mean to fight he relaxed. “Eggplant, Usopp, want some help with those clams?”

“Don’t call me Eggplant!”

“Yeah, sure, thanks!” Usopp said.

“Come on Chopper, let’s go back to our adventure!” Luffy said, running out of the cave.

“Okay!”   
  


\------------

Zoro yawned into the fridge, trying to decide what to drink. The cool air of the fridge made the sleep on his skin prickle. He had been dozing in and out for the last hour in the crow’s nest. Not so deep that he’d miss something important happening, but dreams had passed back and forth in his mind. The sun was starting to get lower though, so folks would be heading back to the Sunny. It was odd, thinking of it as their new home. Merry was still where he was oriented in his mind. He still found himself waking up and expecting to be on a much smaller ship, more susceptible to the will of the ocean. 

He heard the distant sound of steps on the ramp, his crew’s voices casually chatting and laughing. There was a hush right outside the galley door, but then it opened and he smelled the familiar scent of the cook’s cigarettes. Better choose something before he got kicked out. Green tea, that worked. He pulled the pitcher out and shut the fridge door quickly.

“I wasn’t stealing booze.” he said, not turning around. He grabbed a glass from the cabinet, as the cook’s footsteps neared the kitchen unit.

“Better not have been.” Sanji said, and then wrapped his arms around Zoro’s waist from behind. “What have you got? Oh, tea’s fine.” He nuzzled his face into Zoro’s neck, putting a chaste kiss there.

Zoro was frozen. What-what the hell was happening?

This must be a dream. Only explanation for it. He was napping earlier and didn’t actually get up.

Great, another shitty dream about the shitty cook.

“Zoro?” Nami said.

Zoro’s arm jerked, spilling icy tea all over his front. Not a dream not a dream oh fuck not a dream!

He shot out of the cook’s arms, swords out, ready to fight whatever and whoever the fuck he needed to.

“Blackleg, what was that?” Zoro heard Usopp ask from the same direction as Nami. He wasn’t sure what was going on but he wasn’t about to take his eyes off the cook when he was behaving as strangely as this.

Wait, Blackleg?

The cook was the cook, why were they calling him Blackleg? Zoro scanned him. He jerked into a readier position to defend himself when the cook’s hand came up, but all he did was adjust his hair to reveal his left eye. Why was he doing that?

“Sorry, Zoro, I didn’t mean to startle you. Well, I did. We thought it’d be funny. But not this way.” He did this funny little smile at Zoro. Zoro had never seen him make that face before. And he was apologizing?

“Yeah, when you said you were going to see how long it took him to realize it was you. Not assault him! What the hell was that Blackleg?” Zoro let his eyes jerk to Usopp briefly when he spoke.

Zoro realized with horror that the cook was also standing with Usopp and Nami. He looked like he should, not like the slightly altered version standing in front of Zoro. Whatever the fuck was happening, his crew had just seen a version of Sanji hold and kiss him.

The cook-Blackleg? The man in front of Zoro put his hand up on his neck, almost looking sheepish. “Yeah, well, I thought. Um. Zoro and I are dating, where I come from.”

Nope.

“Zoro don’t you even  _ think _ about damaging our new-” Nami yelled.

His exit was blocked though, what was he supposed to do? Stay here? No fucking way.

He turned, cut his way out of this terrible nightmare, ran to the crow’s nest, and locked the hatch, chest heaving.

Fuck.

Had Sanji seen him lean into that other cook’s touch?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mysteries abound!
> 
> If you have never seen a geoduck, welcome. Did you know it's the mascot of the Evergreen State College in Washington State?

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally going to be called something like I Wish That I Knew What I Know Now, When I Was Younger, or some variation. It's a line from [The Faces song Ooh La La](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_xwnb3cymc) which I would recommend listening to!  
> My exposure to it is wholly an amazon ad I had to watch at least 100 times while streaming Haikyuu! on my phone a few years back. So I strongly associate the song with living in a homeless shelter's family room, and false nostalgia generated to sell things. It's a fun song though!


End file.
